


The Coitus Cognizance

by causidicus



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 21:20:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/causidicus/pseuds/causidicus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few months after Sheldon and Amy consummate their relationship, Sheldon shows up unexpectedly at Amy's apartment one evening. Three guesses as to what happens next.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Coitus Cognizance

knock knock knock "Amy."

knock knock knock "Amy."

knock knock knock "Amy."

Amy opened her door in her robe, regarding Sheldon with a raised eyebrow.

"What happened to your boys' weekend?" she asked.

Sheldon shrugged, walking past her. "It's cold in our apartment," he said, putting his messenger bag in his bag on the kitchen chair. "And I'm tired, and Raj and Howard are intoxicated and caterwauling."

"Is that so," Amy said dryly, closing the door. She turned around but Sheldon had already disappeared into her bathroom.

"Did you move my toothbrush?" he called into the living room.

"Don't think so." Amy walked into the bathroom to investigate, finding it in its normal stainless steel holder. She shrugged. "It's in the same spot."

"No it's not," Sheldon said stubbornly. "It was in this part, not this part." He stabbed towards the front and back of the object respectively.

Amy turned to stare at him. "You're arguing about which hole in the toothbrush holder your toothbrush was in?"

Sheldon had the grace to look a little defensive, but didn't apologize.

Amy snorted, walking back into the living room. "You're insane," she said loud enough for him to hear.

"Am not," Sheldon retorted. She heard clanging noises now. "You know my mother had me tested."

"She should taken you to that specialist," Amy muttered. She placed dish and glasses that were on her living room table into the sink, then turned off all of the lights and headed for her room.

She found Sheldon already there, placing his clothes for the next day in a perfectly square and wrinkleless pile on the chair. Amy sat on the bed watching him scrupulously fold, re-fold, and smooth.

Once this task was completed he looked over to where she was sitting with narrowed eyes. "You've been sleeping on my side," he said accusingly.

"Your side, huh?" Amy said, swinging her legs. "You do realize that before you started sleeping here, all sides belonged to me. And when you're not sleeping here, all bets are off."

He scowled.

"Tonight your side is perfectly preserved for you, though," Amy added.

"Well thank heavens," he said under his breath, "at least some aspects of this household haven't given themselves to total chaos."

Amy laughed out loud at this. "'Total chaos'...just wait til you see my closet." When he didn't respond, she looked over to see whether he perhaps hadn't heard.

She saw instead that Sheldon was now taking off his own clothes and placing them in the same pile on the chair. But the light is still on. Amy turned away from him, feeling slightly flustered.

She took off her robe, dropping it over her desk, then almost automatically bent over to pick it up again and hung it in the closet. His quirks just make you love him more, she reminded herself, crawling into bed on what was apparently "her" side.

Moments later the light was off and she heard the bed creaking as he climbed in, tugging the covers over himself. "Goodnight Sheldon," she said over her shoulder.

She heard rustling behind her, and then a solid, warm mass pressed against her back, his soft hand snaking around her middle. They were both silent a moment.

"I'm glad you came over," she said softly.

Sheldon did not respond.

"I know it's a silly sentiment," she continued, "but I already...missed you."

"It's only been a couple of days," Sheldon responded, but his voice lacked the normal amount of snark.

"I know, I just..." Amy paused. "Would you tell me why you came over?"

"I already told you - because I was tired and cold," Sheldon answered flatly.

Amy turned over to face him, his arm still lightly resting on her waist. "Is that the only reason?" She tried to make her voice light, but suspected that she'd failed.

Sheldon inhaled. "There might have been other factors influencing my decision," he said, more softly this time.

"Tell me," Amy said. "Please."

Sheldon leaned his face forward until their foreheads were touching.

"I might have," he began carefully, "I might have preferred the idea of being in your company before I went to sleep."

"I love you so much," Amy blurted out, immediately mortified. The three words were saved for rare occasions indeed, and were not were not normally a response to "I prefer your company."

But Sheldons' grip around her waist had tightened, and she was close enough to see him him close his eyes. "I love you," he said, barely whispering. "Sometimes I don't want you to know how much-" he stopped then, stiffening.

Amy scooted closer to him until their legs were touching, placing a hand on his chest and letting her fingers trail down to his belly button. She looked up at him inquiringly and he responded by grabbing her calf and pulling her leg over his hip. She continued lightly scratching his stomach until his finger began tracing the outline of her breast through her nightgown. She paused in her ministrations long enough to grab his hand and placed it fully on her chest. He exhaled loudly between them.

Without looking away from his face, she trailed her hand farther down, until it was lightly resting over the hot lump in his pajama bottoms.

"Okay?" Amy whispered.

Sheldon nodded.

Gently, she slipped her fingers through both waistbands and he sucked in a breath, squeezing her breast tighter.

She gripped him fully in her hand then and began gently stroking, smiling slightly at the small, choked noise she heard. She increased her pace, continuing to watch what she could see of his expression in the dark.

He groaned then grabbed the back of her head and kissed her roughly, his other hand tugging her nightshirt up. She exhaled sharply against his mouth and pulled his pajama pants and underpants down, kicking them off and further under the covers with her feet. He broke away from her long enough to yank the nightshirt over her head then tossed it on the ground.

He paused then, looking over at the little heap he'd created on the floor. She huffed and hopped out of the bed wearing only her panties, picking up offending garment and folding it rapidly. One she'd carefully placed it on top of the other clothes, she hopped back in bed and pulled the covers up and over her breasts, a bit self conscious.

Sheldon scooted closer to her and pulled her nearly naked body flush against him, his cock nudging her through her panties. She closed her eyes. She always took them off herself, but maybe...

Sheldon nudged against her more forcefully and she responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. He whimpered a little against her mouth.

Eager to compound his frustration, Amy crawled on top of him and helped him pull his shirt over his head, then leaned over until her mouth was barely touching his ear, her tongue whisper light on the outer ridge. His eyes closed and he gritted his teeth, during which time she stuffed his shirt underneath a pillow.

He grunted and pushed her off after a moment, then crawled down her body until he was eye level with her underwear. Amy stared up at the ceiling, wide-eyed. It worked.

She felt his bony fingers curling in the elastic, the cotton sliding down her legs until the material was around her ankles, and then there was nothing.

His silhouette rose out of bed then, and she saw him fold the panties and delicately place them beside his pile on the chair.

When he climbed back into bed, he remained at the foot, slightly hunched over. She had the sudden fear that he would declare he was tired, but then his fingers were pushing her ankles apart and he was crawling toward her. When his head was even with her groin, he placed a light kiss on the pelvic bone on her left side.

Amy was afraid to move - if this was going where she suspected it was going, it'd be the first time.

He pushed her thighs further apart then, and she felt a wave of embarrassment at her increased exposure. He might deem the area too unsanitary, then explain this out loud to her, and and then-

She felt his tongue. "Oh God," she said out loud, fisting the covers into a ball at her side. He squirmed between legs, adjusting his position three or four times before she felt his tongue against her again.

She detected in her haze that he was utilizing a deliberate pattern (Was he tracing the alphabet? The periodic table? That'd be erotic), but it was achingly slow. In fact, it wouldn't surprise her if he stopped after another moment to demand something in return for continuing.

Suddenly his hands were pressing down on her hips and she realized she'd literally been squirming. At this realization, she moaned out loud, then cringed. Coitus was generally very quiet activity between them, punctuated only by breaths, and maybe a few soft utterances.

Judging from the increased rate at which Sheldon's rib cage was expanding and contracting against her calf, she supposed he didn't mind the extra noise so much.

She looked down at him as well as she could, then tentatively put her hand in his hair, nails trailing on his scalp. He grunted and she felt two of his bony fingers on her now, poking around until they slipped inside.

She flopped back on the pillow, moaning without caring what he thought this time. She was getting there remarkably fast, too fast- "Wait, wait," she said breathlessly, tapping him on his head.

He looked up. "What?" he asked, sounding breathless himself.

"I want..." Amy squirmed, pulling on his arms to try to drag him eye-level with her.

He took the hint and ran a hand over his mouth a few times, then slid up her body until his solemn face was hovering over hers.

She could feel his bare penis poking her hip now, and she gripped it, spreading her legs and adjusting herself so that they could finally get down to the main event.

He readjusted his position until she could feel his erection nudging around her entrance. Suddenly he pushed in, roughly. Amy gasped, her eyes bulging and her fingernails digging hard into his back. She felt his fingers touching her face then. "I'm sorry, sorry," he whispered.

"It's fine," she said in a tight voice. "Just...go slow." He nodded and repositioned his hands, pulling out of her gently, then just as gently pushing in again. He pulled on her elbow as he moved, dislodging one of her hands from around his neck and placing her fingers on top of her clit, moving them for her until she realized what he was suggesting and they began to move on their own.

She was so close already.

"Wait, Amy," he said anxiously, pulling out of her.

Amy nearly shrieked in frustration. "What?" she whispered harshly.

"How long have you been taking your new oral contraceptive pills?"

"Two months," she responded.

"Isn't three months the optimal time to wait before employing it as a primary means of contraceptive control?"

"Sheldon, the three months is only..." But he'd already jumped out of bed into the bathroom, and came back carrying a foil packet.

She sighed loudly in frustration, flopping back against the pillow once again. She could feel him looking at her. "You know," he said reprovingly, "I would think someone with a background in biology would understand the prudence of adhering to these types of guidelines," he said, kneeling on the mattress once again.

"You're making up this guideline," she muttered.

She hoisted herself on her elbow then and watched as Sheldon carefully opened the package and extracted the small rubber ring. He flipped it over in his hand four times, pushing his thumbs and fingers into it from various angles. Then he grabbed his penis to steady it for application, his fingers still manipulating the little piece of rubber in his other hand.

Amy had been intensely focused on this entire procedure. Right before he stretched condom over himself, she placed a hand on his wrist. He looked at her.

"Would you," she paused, "can you... um masturbate, for me?" That doesn't sound as good out loud.

"What?"

"Ah..." Amy said, pulling the covers up to her chin and looking away from him. "Nevermind."

Sheldon was silent, and finally she looked back at him. He was watching her.

"You want to...observe?" he asked finally.

Amy nodded vigorously. "But don't feel compelled," she added hastily.

Sheldon focused his gaze on the wall. Amy waited for him to respond "this is activity is ridiculous enough as is," or "don't you realize what-"

But then he grabbed his penis in a loose grip, running his thumb over the tip. All mental activity on Amy's part ceased.

His grip tightened, and she saw him slide his fist up and down once. "Hoo" she exhaled, unable to help herself.

He bit his lip then began fisting his cock in a slow and deliberate rhythm. Amy was almost painfully aroused.

"Amy," he whimpered, still staring intently at the wall, his hand speeding up.

She stopped him and then found the forgotten condom, rolling it over him quickly. "You want me on top, right?" She asked.

Sheldon stared down at her. "You may choose this time," he said in a strange voice.

"Really?" Amy looked up at him.

He nodded.

"Oh...well, can we do it like this?" she rose onto her hands and knees in front of him. She looked behind her to gauge his reaction, but it was no help. Between the dark and the relative newness of this aspect of their relationship, she found that trial and error was the only reliable method of determining whether or not he was amenable to a novel sexual practice.

She heard the bed creaking and felt his knees brushing up against her ankles as he scooted closer to her.

His fingers trailed hesitantly down her back. "This is your choice?" he said close to her ear. She still couldn't place his tone.

"Yes," she said, swallowing. "But if you don't want to-"

At that moment she felt his penis nudging her roughly again. He reached his fingers between their bodies and for the second time that night he pushed into her body a little too quickly.

"Sorry," he gasped, covering her hand with his damp palm .

"It's ok, it didn't hurt this time," Amy said in a hushed tone.

He sat up, clumsily sliding his hand up and down her spine, then she felt him grab her hips and push forward until his wiry pubic hair was brushing against her. Amy closed her eyes, trying very hard to imagine what they looked like.

He pulled out, then pushed in again, and suddenly she felt his weight on her back and his breath next to her ear once more. She nearly collapsed, but not from the strain.

"Sheldon," she murmured. He made a noise and quickly thrust into her. She opened her eyes then. "Sheldon," she said again, a little louder. He made a more protracted noise, followed by another few quick thrusts. He was upright again then and gripping her hips tight, and they were really, truly screwing now.

Amy was panting, attempting to rock back and forth in time with him. He leaned over her again to pick up her hand, and put it on herself. She groaned and took over, unable to get over hearing Sheldon's labored breaths, his little noises, the increasingly loud sound of his thighs slapping against her hips.

"Uhn..Sheldon," she said again, and he whimpered. Nearly delirious, she breathed "fuck me, Sheldon," hoping belatedly that he didn't hear in fear that he would stop to chastise her. He gasped, doubling his pace. He did hear, and he didn't...

"I'm close," she whispered.

"Good," Sheldon said in a strangled voice.

The sound of his voice put her over the edge and she cried out, feeling swallowed up by coiling, stomach-dropping spasms currently paralyzing her body. She felt Sheldon really pounding her then, hard and quick and then suddenly he stopped, draping his body over hers and groaning loudly into her ear. I want to bottle that sound.

They stayed like that a few moments, catching their breaths. She nudged her cheek against his, and he lightly squeezed her hand. Then suddenly Sheldon was up and out of her, and she flopped back onto the pillows, a huge smile on her face.

"Whoa," she exhaled, ginning at his side of the bed, but he was already in the bathroom, completing his mysterious post-coital routine.

He walked back into the room and crawled into bed without saying a word, pulling the covers all the way up to his chin. Amy scooted close to him.

"That was..." she giggled a little. "That was...great."

Sheldon nodded curtly, still silent.

"High five," she said, holding out her hand. He huffed, and after a moment lightly fist-bumped her open palm.

Amy laid back then, putting her arms behind her head. "You know, you're kind of a freak," she said teasingly.

Sheldon suddenly flipped over onto his side on the bed, facing away from her. Amy's face fell and she scooted close behind him, throwing an arm over his middle. Her hand slid underneath his, and he grasped it lightly.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" she asked.

"No," Sheldon murmured.

"You...enjoyed it, right?" Amy asked, an edge of fear in her voice. "I thought-"

"Woman, I am tired," he groaned into his pillow.

"Oh," she said, then smiled again. "I wore you out, huh?"

"Good lord," he mumbled in response.

"Come on," Amy said in his ear. "You can't say that it wasn't completely fantastic."

Sheldon sighed loudly.

"Can you?" she asked, her voice suddenly less steady.

Sheldon immediately flipped back to face her with his no-nonsense bedtime expression. "It was," he said shortly.

"Really?" Amy asked.

"Yes."

"I just... I need to hear you say those things sometimes," Amy said. "I know it's kind of silly, but I just want to hear that you like it as much...as much as I do." She said those last few words in a very low voice.

He wrapped his arm around her then and pulled her closer. "You're..." he said, pausing. "You're hot."

Amy was silent for a moment, certain that she'd misheard. "You think I'm 'hot?'" she repeated.

She suspected he rolled his eyes at that, but could not be sure. "Yes."

"In what way?"

"In all relevant ways."

"But how does that specifically relate to what I just asked you?"

"Use your deductive reasoning."

"Tell me."

"Fine," Sheldon said, flipping over onto his back. "You're hot 'in the sack,'" he said raising his hands up to make air quotes.

Amy was grinning at him, delighted. She gave him one more tight, boa constrictor hug, whispering "Ok, you can sleep now."

"Thank God," Sheldon sighed, then flipped over again.

Amy curled up on her side, staring at his back. "I love you, Sheldon," she said one last time.

"I love you, too, Amy," he said softly, sounding half asleep. "Little vixen," he mumbled.


End file.
